Miranda Lambert - The House That Built Me

I know they say you can’t go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma’am I know you don’t know me from Adam
But these handprints on the front steps are mine

Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I walk around I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

Wow, you're 5

I didn't realise that you have already turned 5 in March. If you were my child, you would have grown so much. How time flies. I'm sorry I didn't come in as often anymore to tell you my life. I want you to know that you still mean a lot to me, it is just that I am so lost in this race. I just need to finish this race and ... what? I start a new one all over again. This life that is building me, I hope it heals me. To the house that built me, I miss you. Life was so much simpler back then. To the child that I never found, I'm sorry this is not the house that would build you. I know you'd be happy here, I hope you are happy elsewhere.

Young love is beautiful

I miss it ...

Say it to someone

This is what happened when you said it to me, seemed my life suddenly stopped functioning while yours would keep going. Why did you do it? 3 years, 5 years, 10 years would pass and I'd still be wondering. Were you punishing me by telling me? Had it became too heavy for you that you had to pass it to someone, and who best deserved it but the one who caused the pain? Dropped it, one would say? Millions had tried, no one ever succeed. Why me?

A story

I only have a year here. I told myself that my job would take most of my waking time. I thought I left my social life back home. So what am I doing here, with the school star, on the course, me struggling with my strokes and she, ever so patiently, teaching me how to hit. I have not felt so helpless in a long time, not after I was given the gift. She still doesn’t know my true identity, only an exchange scholar, collaborating with one of the lab here. I guess we both are superheroes in our own way, she as one openly and me, covertly. There was something about her that I cannot explain, the attraction was too strong. It wasn’t easy for us to be alone; she was always surrounded by her fans, asking for autographs, and secretly something more. Our feelings were mutual too, which was why I ended up here. I should not pursue this, nor encourage it at all, but I did. I knew I was going to end up so broken and it’d never be same ever again. And what about her? Would she feel the same? I doubt that, there will be others that would fill my spot easily. And yet I cannot stop myself. We have been seeing each other for months now, and it was wonderful. My assignment was not as arduous, though I cannot say for the future. We were together more often than we should, people were starting to talk and it did not look good for her. I get the stare down from time to time by her supporters but I did not care. My roommates had been very understanding, since they were not from here, they would do anything to rid the reporters. But it was getting harder and harder, and one of us had to stop it, except that both of us were as stubborn, each waiting for the other to say it. The final assignment came, and as much as I dreaded it, I cannot ignore the fact that this was the end. I told her at last. At first she took it easy, maybe it had not hit her yet of the truth. Eventually, as reality set in, she became more and more stunned.
'How long did you know?' she spoke softly, so hush that I had to stop sobbing to comprehend her.
'A while ago,' I answered, not daring to breathe in case it broke the spell, releasing the real emotion hidden.
'I am who I am, I cannot change it, nor can I ignore it,' I added quietly. 'They need me and my enemies definitely cannot know about you. You are my pillar of strength, my universe and yet will be my downfall against evil. I wish I can disregard them, but they have no control of any situation, their only mistake was to be born among their enemies, who are getting stronger as we speak.'
'So this is it then?' she asked.
'This is it, my love, now I understand why I am different. This is my fate, just as it was fate that united us. Maybe when all the chaos is over, maybe then fate will bring us together again ....' I stopped, as she became inconsolable the more I went on.
'Just go ... leave me alone.' she whispered.
I left, my heart shattered into many pieces as the distance separating us increased. This one minute had changed my life forever.
That was the last time I saw her. I never knew what had become of her. I visited once, during time of lapse, thinking that I could see her discreetly, but she no longer lived there anymore. She moved to another country, I read about her from time to time. She has gotten more famous. In moment like this, even my difference could not help me. I gave light to the lifeless, in return, I lost mine. We won eventually, but with victory meant nothing to me. No one to celebrate with, no one to listen to me. I was undeniably broken ... just as I predicted.

10 years later.
I knew the crowd was going to be huge, and it was unbelievable. That is what you get when you are the best, and she is the best. In a way, it is good for me because I would not know what to say were we alone. Ignoring the warning of my senses, I decided to see her. I needed to, but does she? This crowd is a perfect hiding spot. And then … there she is. I see her for the first time in 10 years. I see her and my heart stops.

Wordle!

Wordle (http://wordle.net) is AWESOME!!! I just love them. Here are some of my very own beautiful word clouds ... woo hoo!! Click on the pictures to enlarge them.

Cupcakes

Here are more pictures of my cupcakes. I used whole wheat flour for this batch. Didn't taste as good as all purpose flour. I also tried using souffle cups for this ones. Whoever came up with this idea, although it was good, it was not practical at all. We had trouble removing the cupcakes ... But they are great when transporting the cupcakes, they are really sturdy.

Jane Austen

BBC remade a lot of films adapted from Jane Austen novels. Sense and sensibility, Persuasion, Mansfield park, Northanger Abbey. They rock!!

Pandan Genoise

My genoise tastes better with icing. However, since I didn't have sufficient ingredients for the buttercream frosting, I was not able make it. Therefore, the cake was a bit dry. Still tastes good though. Not sweet at all.
Now, if only my research comes out as successful ...

Cupcakes

Would you like some cupcakes? They are fun to work on ... that is when everything worked the way you wanted them. I actually had a busy weekend baking. I made cupcakes, a banana cake and a genoise. I still need to work on my frosting. A tad too sweet ... here are some pictures of my cupcakes. I made blueberry cupcakes. Some have cinnamon crumbs on top. The cupcakes are not as sweet, so I hope the frosting would balance the sweetness of the cupcakes.

The Freshmen

I was in love with this song ten odd years ago and when I heard it again recently, I am still in love with this song. When I first heard it, I was told that the song was about a girl who committed suicide because she loved a guy who did not return the love. His best friend was upset and tried to forget her. This phrase is open to your own interpretation, he may have loved her too.
However, truth be told, it is actually about the singer's ex-girlfriend who had an abortion (stop a baby's breath) and he felt guilty about it. His best friend felt guilty about the abortion too.

In 2001, Brian Vander Ark explained what the song means to him on Verve Pipe's bulletin boards:
"When I was young I knew everything" - We all think we know everything at a young age. I thought I did. I realize I didn't know sh*t until I was 36.
"And she, a Punk who rarely took advice" - How many people do we know like that?
"Now I'm guilt-stricken, sobbing, with my head on the floor" - Something happened that caused this reaction, but I wouldn't want to give that away this early in the song, so let's throw in an some ambiguity:"Stop a baby's breath, and a shoe full of rice, no" - First of all, forget the NO. Stop a baby's breath is just that. Abort the baby. A shoe full of rice is a result of a wedding. So - stop a baby's breath AND then you stop a wedding. She's pregnant, get her to abort, and then there's no wedding. And you know what?
"I can't be held responsible, cause she was touching her face" - When I wrote this song, The Divinyls had a song out called 'I Touch Myself.' The TV was on, she was touching her face in the video. Very sexy. So, I can't be held responsible because she was trying to be sexy, trying to seduce me, etc.
"I won't be held responsible, she fell in love in the first place" - I didn't tell her to fall in love.
"For the life of me, I cannot remember what made us think that we were wise, and we'd never compromise" - What was I thinking back then? Who am I to put a girl though that? Why was I unable to compromise? Guilty feelings.
"For the life of me, I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins, we were merely freshmen" - We were just kids, let it go, we all make mistakes, etc.
"My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her" - He needed to get away because of what happened.
"His girl took a week's worth of Valium and slept" - This is why this song is not that strong literally - it's confusing. HIS girl is MY girl. the same girl that had the abortion has now killed herself.
"Now he's guilt-stricken, sobbing with his head on the floor, thinks about her now and how he never really wept he says" - He has the same guilty feelings that I do about the abortion and death.
"We tried to wash our hands of all of this, we never talk of our lacking relationships" - We rarely spoke after the incident - we just tried to forget it. We never spoke of her or the fact that we can't have a decent relationship with anyone since then.
"We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip" - No matter how careful you might be, there are other perils out there.The girl is real, the abortion is real. the death is not. it's poetic license to make the story more interesting.

The Freshmen

When I was young I knew everything
And she a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt stricken, sobbin' with my head on the floor
Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice, no...

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me
I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me
I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her
His girl took a week's worth of valium and slept
And now he's guilt stricken sobbin' with his head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really wept he says

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me
I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me
I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

We've tried to wash our hands of all of this
We never talk of our lacking relationships
And how we're guilt stricken sobbin' with our heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was touching her face
And I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me
I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me
I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen


For the life of me
I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
We were merely freshmen
We were only freshmen

-VP

Life Traffic

Friday the 13th was awesome. I got to see KOOZA and spent my weekly allowance getting some souvenirs. On Saturday, we had an excellent breakfast at the terminal market. Bought a piece of shoofly pie and apple dumpling. I made 'gimongous' cinnamon banana nut muffins in the evening. I forgot what I did on Sunday. By Tuesday morning I was so cranky because I got to go to school. Sophie joined the Cranky Club too coz she had to take a ride in the car with me. So it's hump day today, which means that weekend is just round the corner. When it's time for us to go home, Sophie is the only one left in the Cranky Club coz she still doesn't like the ride home. I think she thinks that she's human coz she likes to imitate me, except when we tried to dress her because then started to walk weird and reallll ssslllooowwww

The longest month

It has been the longest May I've ever experienced. Everyday was a struggle for me, too much to do, not enough time to do them. All I did was study, study, study, except an occasional baking during the weekend to release some frustration. The results were finally out today. I passed! I passed! I passed! It is a very happy moment indeed for me. So now I can be elevated to candidacy. And how are we going to celebrate it? Eat and a trip to Cirque du Soleil. Woohoo!!!! This time it's the Kooza's Cirque du Soleil. I am beyond excited!! 2 years ago, we went to Quidam and it was freaking awesome. Cirque du Soleil ... je viendrai.

Stewie's quote

IF IT'S NOT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO BE RIGHT FOR THE NEXT 100 TIMES????

LOL!

Cinnamon Rolls

I made more cinnamon rolls yesterday. They may look cute, but they still ended up in my stomach. Eat it plain or serve it with cream cheese frosting.

My first bread

Well, I finally did it. This is the first bread that I made. I was worried it wouldn't rise the second time after I punched it down, but it did. And the end result is shown above. Taste pretty darn good too, if I may say so. Wheat flour the next time? Hmm ...

Cakes, cakes and more cakes

So for last week, I baked blueberries pound cake. Oh my goodness, it was so moist and delicious. I am finally able to bake a decent cake. I still need to work on the presentation, but for now, the taste and texture are more important.

And today, I made cinnamon rolls. Boy oh boy, I thought I would not be able to make them since the recipe called for yeast, but I was wrong. They came out good. I did not take any picture of them coz most of them went straight into my stomach. Maybe I should try baking a bread next.

Banana coconut cake

This banana coconut cake is so good. You can eat it as is, or toast it, then serve with ice cream. If only there are more friends around here, I would be doing a lot more baking.

Happy New Year

Another new year is here. Hopefully, this year is better than the last one. New year resolution: THIS and THAT, especially to be more patient with the mixing during baking. Happy New Year everybody.

Chocolate Cake 2

Got a new spoon rest to add to my collection.

This is another version of chocolate cake. I like this one better because it has less chocolate in it.