Say it to someone

This is what happened when you said it to me, seemed my life suddenly stopped functioning while yours would keep going. Why did you do it? 3 years, 5 years, 10 years would pass and I'd still be wondering. Were you punishing me by telling me? Had it became too heavy for you that you had to pass it to someone, and who best deserved it but the one who caused the pain? Dropped it, one would say? Millions had tried, no one ever succeed. Why me?

A story

I only have a year here. I told myself that my job would take most of my waking time. I thought I left my social life back home. So what am I doing here, with the school star, on the course, me struggling with my strokes and she, ever so patiently, teaching me how to hit. I have not felt so helpless in a long time, not after I was given the gift. She still doesn’t know my true identity, only an exchange scholar, collaborating with one of the lab here. I guess we both are superheroes in our own way, she as one openly and me, covertly. There was something about her that I cannot explain, the attraction was too strong. It wasn’t easy for us to be alone; she was always surrounded by her fans, asking for autographs, and secretly something more. Our feelings were mutual too, which was why I ended up here. I should not pursue this, nor encourage it at all, but I did. I knew I was going to end up so broken and it’d never be same ever again. And what about her? Would she feel the same? I doubt that, there will be others that would fill my spot easily. And yet I cannot stop myself. We have been seeing each other for months now, and it was wonderful. My assignment was not as arduous, though I cannot say for the future. We were together more often than we should, people were starting to talk and it did not look good for her. I get the stare down from time to time by her supporters but I did not care. My roommates had been very understanding, since they were not from here, they would do anything to rid the reporters. But it was getting harder and harder, and one of us had to stop it, except that both of us were as stubborn, each waiting for the other to say it. The final assignment came, and as much as I dreaded it, I cannot ignore the fact that this was the end. I told her at last. At first she took it easy, maybe it had not hit her yet of the truth. Eventually, as reality set in, she became more and more stunned.
'How long did you know?' she spoke softly, so hush that I had to stop sobbing to comprehend her.
'A while ago,' I answered, not daring to breathe in case it broke the spell, releasing the real emotion hidden.
'I am who I am, I cannot change it, nor can I ignore it,' I added quietly. 'They need me and my enemies definitely cannot know about you. You are my pillar of strength, my universe and yet will be my downfall against evil. I wish I can disregard them, but they have no control of any situation, their only mistake was to be born among their enemies, who are getting stronger as we speak.'
'So this is it then?' she asked.
'This is it, my love, now I understand why I am different. This is my fate, just as it was fate that united us. Maybe when all the chaos is over, maybe then fate will bring us together again ....' I stopped, as she became inconsolable the more I went on.
'Just go ... leave me alone.' she whispered.
I left, my heart shattered into many pieces as the distance separating us increased. This one minute had changed my life forever.
That was the last time I saw her. I never knew what had become of her. I visited once, during time of lapse, thinking that I could see her discreetly, but she no longer lived there anymore. She moved to another country, I read about her from time to time. She has gotten more famous. In moment like this, even my difference could not help me. I gave light to the lifeless, in return, I lost mine. We won eventually, but with victory meant nothing to me. No one to celebrate with, no one to listen to me. I was undeniably broken ... just as I predicted.

10 years later.
I knew the crowd was going to be huge, and it was unbelievable. That is what you get when you are the best, and she is the best. In a way, it is good for me because I would not know what to say were we alone. Ignoring the warning of my senses, I decided to see her. I needed to, but does she? This crowd is a perfect hiding spot. And then … there she is. I see her for the first time in 10 years. I see her and my heart stops.