Perhaps You Think You Never Will Recover

Perhaps you think you never will recover.
Abysses in your heart disturb your pleasure.
Underneath each sunlit ecstasy
Lie shadows of the fortunes of another,
A fate that's both your burden and your treasure.

Taken from:
http://www.poemsforfree.com/philpo.html

Trappe

Why do you ever feel like there are times when nothing seems to go your way? ... when time is going too fast that you can't seem to catch on with it but at the same time it's going too slow that you are impatient for the results? Why this ordeal? Is this really an ordeal or is it just what you make out of it, an illusion that you created? ... I feel so overwhelmed with many things. It seems so hard to please everyone when you know that you have only that much to give. Seriously, don't you feel like telling everyone to *&%# and just do what you want? Yeah ... especially now. Took a card out and this is what I got ...

The Struggle
You feel a sense of conflict. The struggle that seems to be happening outside of you may, in reality, be happenning on the inside. You feel as if you are striving, but you are immobilized at the same time: chaos has resulted from the presence of conflicting ideas. Allow yourself to 'fail', allow yourself to 'lose', and you may find you are actually winning. In losing all, you will gain everything. In this case, you are merely relinquishing that which is obsolete.

Maybe I am analyzing too much. Should just concentrate on my studies now. Others can come later. Too bad if you can't wait. Just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I don't know anything. Just because I don't mention it doesn't mean I don't notice it... peace to the world!

Une signe ailleurs

Is it time to relinquish? I came to do what I was supposed to do and I guess it's time move on. Maybe I am supposed to stop fighting and let it go. Maybe it's not meant to be, heck, maybe it was never meant to be. You can fight for a while, but you can never fight forever. Where is the sign that was supposed to guide me? Do you only get it when you reach the entrance? Did I miss it, or was I too blind to notice it? Perhaps I went to fast, perchance I saw it but repudiate it. Maybe there were more signs along the way, maybe I actually missed all of them. Or maybe they were actually there, except that I got into the wrong entrance. Eventually I'd end up where I started ... right? Save it's a different entrance now. And then what? Shall I wait for a sign? Will someone, somewhere, anyone, anywhere show me? The little voice in me tells me that I should, it doesnt know why, just that I should! You know what ... maybe the little voice is the sign!

Mon Soulagement

Aujourd'hui, la journee ne commencait pas bien. J'avais un peu le cafard. Mais, le monde continuait meme si je voulais arreter et respirer. Je n'avais pas de choix sauf de le suivre. Je suis alle en cours. Je n'ai rien ecoute. La classe suivante ne serais pas mieux non plus, je me sus dit. Alors, le cours a commence, j'ai essaye de suivre ce que le prof disait, mais ce n'etait pas facile, je te dis. Il l'a fini 10 minutes en avance. Je croyais que je pourrais faire mes affaires jusqu'il a dit .. 'Je ne suis pas content du tout de vos resultats. Je crois que vous pouvez faire miex que ca ... ' Je l'ai vu et je me suis sente que mon coeur, il a arrete un instant .... When I got it back, boy was I glad. It wasn't what I wanted but it'd do right now. Been telling myself that I must give thanks ... Isn't it amazing how a little thing can change your temperament in an instant. Maybe I should start letting go and just live simply ... enjoy the sun, appreciate the plants that are coming out soon and decorate the world, smile more often ... coz your possessions will be someone elses' when u die, but what and who you are will be yours forever ... peace to the world, and say NO to seal clubbing! You may not realise it now, but when the animals become extinct, you will too ...

Iou's journey

The wind is blowing southbound, tagging along with it is the chill that it accumulated up north. My battle has just begun and there will be more coming as I advance toward you. I'd sacrifice myself as long as you are safe in my kingdom once again. Fear not my love, for when I am gone, I will return in a heartbeat. When you feel the wind caressing you, it is I who will be touching you. When you feel the sun wrapping its heat around you, it is I who will be embracing you. When it rains, it is my tears that will be dropping on you. When you fall, I will be there to break your fall. And if you cry, I will be the gentle breeze wiping it away. And when you laugh, I will be the muscles that expand your heart so you can laugh harder. And when you sleep, I will be the dreamcatcher that brings you only sweet memories of us together. And do not regret that we have quarrelled because they bring us closer. Fly and see the world, for I will be in every crook and corner, guarding you. And when you are weary from your journey, lay down and close your eyes, and listen to the rustle of the leaves for that will be my whispers to you. And if life is too arduous to endure, remember this and say it softly, and the little fire in you will kindle again and ever.

Phew ...

What a relief! Finally did what I wanted to do. From now on there won't be any sottises of any sort anymore. Count every blessings ...
Went to school and removed my first batch of freeze-dried pellets. I like the geoscience lab, it's like a 'pagan-lab', posters of the 4 elements, 4 seasons, Sarah Mclachlan, etc ... plants such as cacti, this and that .. probably hidden somewhere are the cauldrons or a weed or two!! That'd be interesting ...

Je me promis

A partir d'aujourdhui,
pour les choses suivantes:
-les mauvais memoires
-les histoires tristes
-les gens desagreables
-mes tristesses
Je vous donne le doigt!!

Message Personnel

si tu crois un jour que tu m'aimes
ne crois pas que tes souvenirs me genent
et cours et cours jusqu'a perdre haleine
viens me retrouver

si tu crois un jour que tu m'aimes
ei si ce jour-la tu as de la peine
t'as trouve tous ces chemins qui te menent
viens me retrouver

si le degout de la vie vient en toi
si la paresse de la vie s'installe en toi
pense a moi

mais si tu crois un jour que tu m'aimes
ne me considera pas comme un probleme
et cours et cours jusqu'a perdre haleine
viens me retrouver

si tu crois un jour que tu m'aimes
n'attends pas un jous pas une semaine
car tu ne sais pas ou la vie t'ammene
viens me retrouver

What now!!

The night is my friend
to whom I share my secrets
to whom I share my happiness
to whom I share my sadness
The night is my friend
who listens to my thoughts
over and over again
the night has became my friend
ever since you left and took the sun with you